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Of course, essentially, the question in the title of this article is one that can only be answered by you. Only you would know how you feel about adoption in general. Only you would be able to summarize the information that you already have in order to see what data gaps you have that would prevent you from making an informed and coherent decision. Only your heart will tell you the way, and yet it is important to point out that the very fact that you are reading this would indicate that adoption definitely is on the table. Adoption is not easy, but here are a few pointers to help you consider what it is, what it involves, and what the deeper meaning of adoption is when you put the focus on the well being of the child above anything else.
You are not alone
When thinking about adoption, it is crucial to remember that you are not alone in this. Thousands upon thousands of people (www.census.gov/prod/2003pubs/censr-6.pdf) put babies up for adoption or adopt children in every given year here in the United States and throughout the world. Any stigma or incomprehension that may have existed about adoption in the previous centuries should be completely forgotten and considered inappropriate, as adoption is certainly not a detestable or shameful or illegal practice, but rather is one that brings people together in ensuring the best outcome for the child in question. Thus, anyone suggesting that putting a child up for adoption is a negative or destructive step has their priorities mixed up – the issue at hand here is what is best for the child, and the best is of course a loving and caring home. If the birth parent or parents are unprepared or unable to go through with the upbringing of the child, the logical, sensible, heartfelt, human and caring way to go forward certainly includes considering adoption as an option.
Types of adoption
In considering whether adoption is right for your individual case, and having set aside any preconceptions or taboo feelings about adoption, it is necessary to consider the different options in front of you. The two basic approaches to adoption would be open and closed adoption. In the closed scenario, which has been more traditional and has a longer history, the birth parent or parents do not get to meet the adoptive parents; anonymity and confidentiality are the top priority, and the future life of the adopted child is a mystery for the birth parents (just as the life of the birth parents remains hidden from the child for years or for their lifetime).
The open adoption scenario is something that is becoming more increasingly popular and understood – a number of studies have shown that social integration, self-confidence and other psychological issues receive a positive boost as a result of open adoption, a process in which the birth parents and the adoptive parents join together in a celebration of the child’s birth as opposed to not knowing about each other. In the most advanced open adoption scenarios, the birth parents continue to receive information about the child and may even be in constant contact with the adoptive family. Knowing where they came from and who their birth parents are helps children in their social development throughout their lifetime, while any feelings of guilt or inadequacy are extinguished early on.
Things to know about adoption
If you are considering putting a child up for adoption, you should know that professional adoption agencies are available to help you on a continuous basis with this difficult but reaffirming process. Accommodations, medical bills, and other needs may often be met by the adoptive parents and the adoption agency so the birth parents can focus on the child instead of stressful situations. Whichever type of adoption you choose, a professional adoption agency would be able to give 24/7 support, answers to questions and recommendations. Going through an adoption agency ensures that the adoptive family is carefully chosen through several stages of screening, criminal checks, and other processes. As a result, the child is placed with a loving and caring family that will ensure their happy childhood, teenage years and adolescence.
When thinking about whether adoption is right for you, you need to consider calmly and clearly whether keeping the child is an option. If bringing up the child is impossible, seriously consider participating in the miracle that is adoption – people coming together in their love of the child to ensure that their well being and happiness are the top priority and the only major focus.